‘The one with all the laughter and fun’
An episode with all the laughter and fun and hysteria and gossip and flashbacks and hilarity!! Friends! arent friends like episodes?? well, if they really are, then I’d have preferred a daily soap – so that the good times continue into eternity 🙂
I have always thought about this (not as a blogpost 🙂 of course) – what friendship means, especially since the contexts have changed, times have changed, lifestyles have changed. How do you become friends with anybody… there are many reasons – ‘habit friend/s’ as in people who you end up hanging out with due to reasons such as being neighbours / classmates etc, ‘aspirational value friends ‘ as in people whose personalities / qualities hold a sort of attraction and you feel they are cool, you want to be like them and you might hang out with them, many other reasons perhaps, but the one I value a lot is connection.
For example, when I recall my childhood, can conclude that as a child, my only friends were the neighbouring kids/ classmates sitting next to me/my cousins because those people were ‘given’ in my life. Everyone begins with such friends. They are ‘habit’ friends – they have different nature than yours, you might realise that (though not as articulately as that – you will just not like them and pick fights with them) but you still play with them. All of the friends of my childhood were as such ‘habit’ friends, and I dont have a particular memory about any of them. I remember random things like a classmate sitting next to me in class 1 broke all my crayons, a boy had once run away from school – he was my friend – and I think they never found him etc… I mean, those were totally non-descript years. atleast in my life 🙂 anyways, this is digression from the topic at hand….
Coming back to what I want to say : In my adult life – I take that back. I’d say, ever since I began to really understand that world did not feel the same way as I did , I met only a handful people outside of my family who I thought ‘got me’ – spoke the exact language I spoke. I really admire people who can instantly connect with anybody and everybody, but deep down, I am skeptical. I believe such connections are not as cheap and easy. Nevertheless, I have been privy to the absolute joy that is afforded by having such friends, such connections and I can totally testify to the fact that age, financial status, education etc need not be a common ground to make such a friendship. One such friend is now 51!! She and I dont share many things in common, we are mostly not in touch with each other, but when we meet, we can chat for hours and hours, pick up from where we left it like 2/3/5/7 months ago!! And I cannot explain it. Her concerns, opinions etc are entirely different from mine, given her age and yet, when I speak to her, I do feel we are equals – that she understands me perfectly. Perhaps it is her nature – unlike other people of her age she doesnt release a barrage of advices and can laugh at my jokes. Whatever it is, I’m grateful, I met her.
For most of the people, the best years of life are college years, when many people do experience such a connection with several people at a time and that is really an amazing feeling. Thereafter the work begins and colleagues are supposed to be your competitors and habit – friends. It is very rare to make friends for real within formal and official conditions though I am fortunate enough to make a handful of them and it is something that sometimes I cannot believe myself….
It is a truth universally acknowledged (I like to quote Jane Austen now and then 🙂 ) that the good times last only for short while… Life is changing too fast – jobs/ education/ marriage makes it rather impossible for the ‘connection’ to last over two different countries/ cities etc. And that’s why I said friends are like episodes nowadays. So one can only hope to make many more such connections in their lifetime and of course hope that the old connections are not given up that easily….
Posted on April 30, 2011, in Culture, English Classics, Jane Austen, Life, Nostalgia, Personal, Work and tagged Friends, friendship, life, life and philosophy, lifestyle. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.